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Missing your loved ones at Christmas

By:Nicky Alan
Date: Tue,04 Dec 2012
Submitter:NICKY ALAN

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Hi all,

I have been getting a lot of mail about loved ones, not suprisingly because we are nearing Christmas.

I hope this helps xxxx God Bless

Where exactly has my loved one gone?

Your loved one’s soul or spirit has left their physical body and gone onto another dimension, into the spirit world where they reunite with their family and friends who they have shared time with on the earth plain. They are energy or light, and have the ability to travel to any geographical place as well as blending their energy with their loved ones down on the earth plain. So if you move don’t worry they know where you are going! They will have met up with their soul group and no doubt would have had a welcoming party on their arrival. The spirit world is not a physical place, this is what people find hard to understand. I remember as a child when on an aeroplane trying to see the layer where the spirit world was! It is a place of energy and thought processes. I call it the blob theory as I do not like to complicate things. I have been shown in a meditation me being a ball of bright energy, a blob, in the spirit world. I then see another ball of energy approaching me and as we blend we download each other’s information. Our lives, our loves, our hates, our passions, our personalities all there to be seen and experienced, if we then pull apart the information cuts off. Like visiting a website. So, mediums down here can tune into the spirit internet and whoever wishes to bring their website to the medium then they can do. Obviously there’s more than information available as they can create physical manifestation of themselves and create physical happenings for us to witness down here.

Why have I not seen a sign that they are in contact?

Human beings down on the earth plain create a very limited thought process of what a sign really is from a loved one. You cannot decide or create what you believe should be a sign from them. For instance, ‘I know my mum would move her picture’, or ‘I know she would bring me a smell of flowers’. You have to remember that your loved ones are divine beings and they will find the best way of proving their survival and only at the right time.

I always use this scenario as an example. You have just broken up with your loved one after being married for years, you are utterly devastated and cant deal with the fact that they have left you. You know they will be at a party with their new girlfriend, do you go and put yourself through the agony of seeing them? No. So you will only get signs or messages from your loved ones if they know that you have grieved them appropriately and are ready for them to communicate again. I have sent many people away from a reading, as I know they are simply not ready to hear from their loved one or open to seeing the signs. The natural grieving process HAS to take place before seeking a medium or asking for signs.

However, if you are ready for communication it will take place. Because we naturally think within a confined box, we do regularly miss their signs. The most common phenomena are:

Apportation, where objects are placed through the ether or atmosphere for you to find or objects are taken and placed elsewhere in the house. I still have never got my TV remote back! Feathers, coins and buttons are a particular favourite and will be left in noticeable places where you find them easily or see them as a regular occurrence. My nan did a classic where she took my mums basket of lottery number balls off of the top of the microwave. A day later, they were found in the gas oven merrily melting! They can bring smells that connect to them, orbs which are balls of light that are the first stage of spirit manifestation, a song that is repeatedly played which was their or your favourite. If you are really lucky you may see them as a solid form, but ONLY if they know you are prepared to see them. The key is to look for synchronicities, or spiritual coincidences, where the same thing happens on a number of days. For example, a particular bird keeps coming into the garden or you keep seeing a certain symbol regularly or two separate voices in two separate locations tell you the same thing. I call them earth angel messages where your loved one has inspired those people to tell you what they want to express. Don’t look for the signs, open your mind, heart and soul and allow them to draw to you, you cannot force the divine!

Why do other people come to me through mediums but not the person I most want to hear from?

When anyone goes for a reading with a capable and genuine medium, what they receive is what their soul needs to hear on that particular part of your spiritual and material path.

What happens very frequently in readings is you will get a more distant communicator, for instance, an old neighbour comes through from your past before your dad does. I call these acknowledgement or messenger connections, where YOU become the medium. That neighbour usually comes through, one, to acknowledge his presence in the spirit world and to say hello to you and two, he most probably can’t reach his family, they may not be open to mediumship and he wants to give them a message. So then you become the medium and pass a message on to the family to let them know of his survival and unending love. I believe that sometimes we don’t realise the impact we have on people that we meet in our lives, they may have thought a lot more about us then the other way round.

You can also have particular people come through if they were good at dealing with the problem you have in your life at the minute. So if you were having domestic problems your aunt may come through as she experienced this, or if you feel suicidal, someone who committed suicide may come through to guide you through your pain and come out the other side.

The worst recipient a medium can have is a ‘I only want my mum’ recipient. If you go into a reading only demanding one person, then your reading will be closed with limited energy straight away. Your nan may want to say hi first before you have the finale of the person you want. This is not an order service, it is a miracle of two worlds embracing each other. WHOEVER comes through to you, be humble and grateful that a spirit person has come to you in order to communicate. My pet hate is when people say, ‘Well you got my mum through, my sister, my nan and granddad but I thought you would have picked up on my dog, I know he would come if he knew I was here!’ With this scenario, I count to ten, smile lovingly and explain the process of mediumship.

Think out of the box! Embrace whoever wishes to come and see you, there is a reason for everything and why particular people visit!

Do people who have died all go to the same place?

I have always been told by my granddad that there are seven astral plains where spirit people who go from this earth reside in. Dependant on your actions here during your life is dependant on which realm you reside in when you go back up to spirit. I recall a spirit lady whose brother had murdered her children. When I asked if he was with her, she stated that he was in another place for the time being learning from his actions. She said that she had blended with him, had forgiven him and was with her family and children. What I took from that is that he must be in a lower realm dealing with his actions on the earth plain. I believe that we all belong in our own soul group and that we reunite on the earth plain. Ever met someone and thought you had known them forever or instantly clicked with them? I believe that this is soul recognizance. Your soul group remain connected in the spirit world and I believe that you all move together as a group, so if one is lagging because of their past actions the others wait until you are ready to ascend to the next realm.

I believe in soul progression, your deeds on the earth are karmic, what you give out, you get back, the realm you reside in when you go back to spirit reflects your earth actions. The higher the realm you are progressing towards the more difficult your lessons are in your next incarnation on the earth.

Can they hear/see me even if I can’t hear them?

Absolutely! A lot of my readings give specific evidence of exactly what you did that morning or the book you’re reading or when you are getting married, I sometimes feel paranoid as they can be with you any time, so behave yourself!

They are an energy that can blend with any other energy and any place. Always talk to them as if they are there, I recommend perhaps talking to their photograph so you don’t feel completely mad! I always talk about my thoughts, my feelings, I ask for guidance and help whenever I feel I need my spirit family close. Sometimes there is a delay in my request, but as sure as eggs is eggs they deliver. I asked recently for them to sort out my house move as it was dragging on. That afternoon I had three calls from both estate agents and my financial advisor updating me stating that they had a message to call me. I hadn’t phoned them at all. So send your requests out as they will get answered! If they know that you need them there, whether you can see them or not they will be there.

How can I feel closer to them, especially at Christmas.

Put yourself in their place. What would you like to be done at Christmas to remember you by or to celebrate your life?

Do what you know makes you feel happy and then do what you know they would like. Special times such as Christmas should be a loved filled positive time where you should have in your mind to celebrate your loved ones life rather than mourn it. Would you want your family members completely miserable because you were gone? No, I’m sure you would be willing them to tuck into the turkey and open the wine bottle! So smile, enjoy them and know they are sitting with you enjoying every moment, raise them a toast if you feel you want to, keep them a part of the festivities rather than concentrating your energies on what you are missing.

I have so many spirit people who have passed over at Christmas come to me and say to their loved ones a resoundingly familiar message: stop making Christmas a sad reminder of my passing, have fun! Celebrate my life, most of all embrace and love the people who are still there.

Do spirits know or care it’s Christmas and do they look down at that time to share it?

Spirits know without any doubt that it is Christmas. They lived here once and they know that more thoughts of love go out to them at this time. The vibration of the love and thought processes that go to them are overwhelming, so they know to draw close and enjoy the festivities. My dad absolutely loved Christmas and so do I. I never mourn who is not here to share, I relish in the people down here who wish to share it with me. During the day, I send a little thought of love up to my family and friends in spirit and know whether I get a sign or not, that they are there bringing love, healing and strength to face a fresh new year.

Do they have happy memories of this time like we do?

Yes definitely. I don’t feel I have ever had a connection without the spirit person mentioning a happy of funny memory. Christmas is always a favourite, but the memories are normally taking the mickey out of nan having too many sherries or dad snoring when you are trying to listen to the telly! When we get past the grieving stage of losing our loved ones, our mind starts to recall more funnier times that we shared in our history together. Laughter is one of the strongest vibrations along with love that assists your loved ones connections to us. I always work embracing humour and positive feeling whether in a reading or on stage. Our loved ones cannot draw close if we are closed down spiritually, or feel miserable, angry or low. They blend with high vibrations and so negative emotions make it a lot harder to let themselves be known.

Do they know how sad we are and if so why don’t they talk to/appear to us?

They definitely do know how sad we are and that is why they wait for the right time to talk to us and show themselves. They will not want to extend the grieving process or upset you even more too early after their passing. It depends on the individual spirit person and you yourself. If you are struggling to accept their physical passing they will not extend your sadness by showing themselves and reminding you of what you have lost.

I remember asking a lady to no longer come to me as she was trying to keep her son alive by the connections that I gave her. She was very angry with me as I stated that she had to accept that her son had passed and that she should not visit mediums until that time. Alternatively, I have also had someone come to me who had been around the whole country spending a fortune getting messages from his mum. When he came to me I told him that his mum was not communicating and never had yet, due to his sadness, the communications had come from his grandmother. He was very upset with me and told me that it had definitely been his mother. When we talked through the evidence he had been given, it was quite apparent that he had been to mediums that had fished for information or that he had twisted everything to fit his mum. I advised him to go and grieve his mother properly and when ready to then learn to celebrate her life and that she is still alive in the spirit world. Lots of people believe that they are ready to receive contact from their spirit loved ones but when they get a visitation they are terrified. I live my spiritual life by being completely open, without demand, full of love and the faith and knowledge that my loved ones are here. Allow them to be, and when the time is right they will bring you comfort, hope, inspiration and peace.

Embrace the concept, ‘expect the unexpected….’then you simply can’t go wrong.


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Hi hunni, come and have one with me I'm sure I can get there for you!!
Don't read into your loved ones remains being there and not wanting you to move. They are alive and well around you, their spirit is alive, the remains are just a physical reminder for us.
It is obviously not the right time for you to move and the ashes have no say on that!
On a physical leve the current climate makes house sales very slow, so just go with the flow, it will sell when it sells, I am in the same boat, so I just trust it is right when it is right xxx Good luck xxx
Fri,07 Dec 2012,15:36:55 GMT

Terry Baker said:

As someone rapidly approaching my sell by date, this article was of personal interest. I am not aware of loved ones contact, I am told I am too analytical, mediums get nothing, we just have a conversation on how it all works. :-)
I would like the name of your estate agents, I have had five sales fall through. Do you think it is my wife, mother and close friend, who's ashes are in the front round of my garden, don't want me to go, I will be taking a carton full of the earth though. :-) I am under the Wizard. :-)
Fri,07 Dec 2012,13:42:52 GMT
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